The Philosopher and I

 “I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can’t find anybody who can tell me what they want.”– Mark Twain

Once on a road trip my boys were bored and tired. As would any mother do, I thought I would entertain them to help shorten the journey. I let my hair down and rolled down the window of the car. The wind gushed in and blew my hair into the air. I called out to them and said, “Look, look. I am a wiiittcchhh.” They looked at me and my older one immediately disapproved, “No. You do not look like one.”

Touched and amazed at his quick response, I thought to myself, “He would never call me a witch. He would oppose any reference of a witch (always a bad one) to his mother dear as outrageous. Filled with joy and ecstasy, oozing with a happy smile, I asked him, “Why not?”

This philosopher-child’s answer taught me another wonder in life that is often hidden in this sugar coated world. He said unamused, “Witches are not FAT!”

Probing deeper into the meaning of life or discussing it often leaves me in confusion. I say one thing when I mean another. I have noticed it give me an age spot, grey my hair and even line my face. Then I say to myself “only change is constant” because I keep on changing – my thoughts and my body too.

A few sessions with my students on “life-skills” has made me think and re-think a number of things. Talking to them about “happiness” or rather “the way to happiness” has left me with a question – ‘Why then am I so unhappy?’ I cannot always blame it on my hormones for it gets imbalanced only once a month. I may change this thought in a month or a week or may be even later today, but for now it is perhaps because I am not living the moments as I should.

I keep telling everyone who willingly gives me an ear… live life and do not just survive it. Cherish and relish every single moment. Looks like I have stopped living for a while because when I was trying to look for myself at the “Self Awareness” discussion, I could not find “Me”. I was lost!

Philosopher-parents have given me the best of everything – from looks to books. They would say “Girl, everything will be taken away from you. You will lose everything. Their health and sickness showed me the harsh reality of life. “But the one thing,” they said, “you will never ever lose is your knowledge (awareness, cognizance, realization, intelligence of all kinds, perception of all things great and small, appreciation and the hundreds of synonyms I can add here)”. It makes a lot of sense now.

As a philosopher-teacher of mine put it very well – “When we were younger, our worlds were so big. As we grew older, our worlds became smaller”. The ideas of “this is mine” and “that is thine”, building walls and fences taller than our houses (and houses that are no longer homes).Enclosed within these walls and thoughts we grumble about how small the world is.

A philosopher-friend once said to me – “Let go and live…” The friend who was a philosopher is now bound by the norms of the small society and instead of letting go, is clinging onto every bit of it to the last breath. We cannot let go, we cannot get larger than life. Is this how we are designed to be? Where are the mud puddles we used to play in? Where are the trees we would climb and fall from? Where are the stars we would lay under and try the count? Have the scars disappeared from our knees?

My philosopher-students have given me the best – a lot of questions. Why this? Why that? Why do you have a religion? How did you do that? They have given me a reason to keep on learning and living. Forced to prove to be the “learned one”, I would just keep on exploring and looking for answers. Once when pushed to do something different, I responded with a … ‘this is the only thing I am good at!’ – I cannot imagine what I would be doing if there was no teaching.

But by far I wish everyday to live by the rules and spirit of the philosopher-child. No judgments, no apprehensions, no worries, no hang-ups, no inhibitions, no second thoughts. They just are! With their natural instincts, they ooze with purity and for once a little smile or word can give you an eternity of a world without pretenses and hate and sadness – you just feel glad that you are alive! They will not wait to re-think their opinion of you. They will just share their perspective with the kind of honesty you do not usually find anywhere around. On a bad-hair day, your “beloved” may say you are the “most beautiful thing that happened to me” to avoid a lot of arguments and on days when you think you look your best, they may make you feel like you are wearing an “invisible” lotion. But a child never falters to put forth that pure, clean, non-pretentious perspective. It just is amazing how we never want to learn from young children when we can unlock the secrets of life and the Universe and all else.

You are not a witch if you are Fat! You are just you and nothing less.