Dear ~! (as in Dear John or Jane )

12/12/2015

Dear ~!,

I hope this letter finds you in the best of your health (both physical and mental) and happiness in the midst of your wonderful family and friends. I am writing this letter to you to thank you for remembering me and giving me a very honest feedback (Your Post) on Thimphu Confession Page (Just For Fun) on the much viewed and liked Facebook.

I am also doing well – mostly planning on how to become a good teacher and an even better human being.

I am at my best amidst my wonderful colleagues – who have given me so much love and high regards, my students – who have shared their joy and sorrow and who have grown into my life so beautifully that it will take me several lifetimes to forget them and a family – who has made it possible for me to achieve the impossible grooming me with so much affection and instilling in me compassion for all the six realms.

It is indeed a wonderful life and I cannot thank God enough for all I have received and am grateful for that.

Your post dated 10^th December, 2015 (recorded time – 1200 mid-night) has evoked a sense of reflection in me. It has been a long time since I have reflected on my life and me and who or what I was becoming. I was so busy working and doing so many things to please so many people that I compromised a lot of things. May be I did not take the time out to be kind to you. I may have been in my worst mood when you wanted something from me or wanted to talk to me. For that I apologize and wish I had given you quality time.

I can understand life can be tough and hard on us. I can also understand what you have gone through and what you must still be going through. It gets very frustrating for us so much that we want to take it out on the person you are close to. I am glad you chose me. I am glad I could be of some use to you as it must have eased your frustration and pain when you typed “your post”.

So as I write this letter to you, I only pray for your happiness and peace of mind. I also hope you meet only good people who are way better than me. You are right. I have not been able to do much this year. I do not claim to be a good teacher. I am not even close to being a good teacher – but I try. I am not a model at all and I tell all the thousands of wonderful students I have come in contact with to not become like me, but better than me.

This year I have only been able to coax about six students to not leave school; I have only been able to convince about twenty girls not to use too much cosmetics containing a lot of chemicals; I have only been able to wean about ten students from drinking coke and eating junk food; I have only been able to have lunch with one student I was angry at in class; I have only been able to get two students who fought with each other to shake hands and make up; I have only been able to help raise fees for only one student. I have only been able to work with few parents listening to the stories of single mothers or divorced fathers who were journeying through tough times telling them to not lose hope and have faith. I have been able to listen to about twenty guardians who were so angry they did not want to keep their wards and trust me, it was not easy convincing them to keep the student with them.  I have only been able to cry with one family of a student who died so young. I KNOW I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO DO MUCH!

Often a person who goes out of his or her way is blamed. I guess I am willing to be blamed if I can make a small teeny weeny difference anywhere. I cannot sweet talk and make blank promises and sing song and lie to my students and colleagues. But I can talk sweetly and keep my promises. Today I have learnt that and I thank you for that.

Do let me know if there is more. And trust me my dear it is not a confession, it is reality. I wish we could sit over coffee and discuss more of this in person. My search in life has been myself and “knowing myself”. It is indeed tough working with thousands and pleasing each and every one, but I will try.

My dear, please always remember – “Intentions are always good, people are always good deep down inside”. It is just that sometimes our circumstances add to our anger and frustrations. I am sure your intentions to post what you posted were also good and that deep down inside you are a wonderfully good person. Do not give into frustrations and do not let anger lead you.

Much as I would love to go on, I have a call of duty and have to attend to other things. And today there is a very special thing Teachers at Rinchen HSS get to do - we get to see off our 400+ students who have successfully completed their BHSEC examinations, some of whom nearly dropped out or were frustrated just like you; some of whom we scolded and were hard on to mold them. 

I do not mean you are not important, but as I said, I will make time for you the next time over coffee and tell you about life and a lot many things and hear from you my short comings try to become better. So I end this letter here today and hope that you find peace of mind and happiness in this realm and even beyond.

Take care and may you find happiness always.

Yours sincerely,

Dechen Choden

(a very human woman trying her best to be a better person)